My Wedding Is Less Than Six Months Away — Now What?

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[Photography: Jeff Thibodeau Hair: Andre Davis]

Dear NoteBrooke,

When it comes to my history as a chronic procrastinator, the gist of the matter can most seamlessly be synopsized as follows: no one is better versed in learning how to pay electric bills only after receiving at least six Termination of Service notices from ConEd than I am.

Returning to an apartment that more closely resembles a large refrigerator than it does a First World dwelling, I’ve often found myself scrambling to make an absurdly simplistic online payment, one which, had it only been rendered upon its initial due date, would’ve precluded the need for a last minute, panic-stricken effort to restore warmth and overhead lighting to my broken Midtown Manhattan based igloo.

The strides that I’ll make just to avoid doing things like: getting out of bed before 10am, consuming a vegetable, boarding a treadmill, and/or visiting a doctor’s office, are truly staggering. And while I’m armed with a repertoire of thoughtful justifications for all of my indefinite postponements (Sleep deprivation has been linked to a number of historical duhhhsasters, like the destruction of the Challenger, you know, so you’d do well to make the responsible decision here and slip right back underneath those covers, Self!), I never feel enthusiastic about tackling what might otherwise qualify as a totally enjoyable endeavor when I’m running on manic energy and iced venti black eyes alone.

All of this basically just means that I’m short changing myself, failing to make the most out of of my moments because I’m more focused on stuffing them into the same rapid fire increments that are generally reserved for coffee runs or cigarette breaks than I am on actually living them. The incessant tick-tock of pressurized deadlines serves as the self-imposed soundtrack to the backdrop of my unnecessarily cluttered life.

In the same way that I used to sorely regret cramming a semester’s worth of information into my throbbing, bruised brain two nights prior to final exams, I’ve come to resent the act of missing out on the full vibrancy of an experience because of my perpetual deferment of various tasks. For instance, my weekly failure to adequately prepare for ‘date night’ generally renders me half dressed behind a bathroom door, shouting “Ready!” to my ever-punctual fiancé (bless him, that cute little alien) who’s putting his coat on and exiting the apartment. Drenched in stress-sweat, I take two more seconds to adorn my bare eyes with globs of mascara and throw on a sweater — or, any garment, really — clamoring to ensure that I, alone, won’t be the reason that we arrive after the restaurant closes its kitchen and stops serving for the night. Instead of feeling relaxed and beautiful, I’m frustrated and undone, scolding myself for watching that extra episode of Dr. Phil via YouTube when I knew that I should’ve been getting ready for our night out.

As such, when I recently looked at my Day Planner and ingested the fact that my wedding was exactly six months away (breathe!), I had a serious discussion with myself. Crystallizing a vision of exactly what I wanted the experience to represent, I made a devout resolution to prepare as thoroughly and as well in advance as possible, ensuring that all of my best efforts would go into the meticulous creation of an event that I believe should be comprised of personal touches and close attention to detail. Because, prior to the sixth month mark, I found myself experiencing a recurrent nightmare in which I’d wake up on the morning of the wedding and realize that nothing, sans the church and the venue, had been booked. While I would continuously rush to make an emergency appointment with GlamSquad in a last ditch effort to look reasonably suitable for my walk down the aisle, I would become overwrought with frustration, disappointment and anger.

Why?

Because, candidly, there’s always been an enormous difference between what my top tier, “Best Brooke,” performance manifests itself as versus what transpires/emerges when I make an attempt to offer anything less than that. 

When I take authentic initiative, adequately prepare, and then execute with the confidence that can only be borne with doing the proper groundwork, I find that I enjoy, rather than dread, the process of checking things off of my To-Do list — even when it comes to tackling those tasks that aren’t necessarily meant to be fun, like stocking my refrigerator with healthy groceries or reviewing lengthy brand contracts.  

In varying degrees, isn’t this the way that it is for all of us?  I mean, do you ever really have a stellar morning when you press snooze four times and then slip into the office twenty minutes late, praying that you won’t be found out?

And so, while I pin away at 4am every single morning, explain my ideas to florists/lighting techs/musicians who look at me in such a way that would denote that I’ve suggested a departure on par with pruning hedges in the nude, get a wedding worthy weave sewn into my head by Andre, the Hair Whisperer Himself, and try to ensure that every last guest is wildly entertained and fantastically satisfied, just know this: I’m all in now, and I’ll never come home to a cold and dark apartment again.

xx,

B

  • indecisivelystylish

    I can totally relate to the procrastination, I too am the queen of putting this things off and making excuses.. my poor gym membership was a complete waste for sometime.

    I know that wedding planning can be stressful (I have yet to experience it but I do have experience in calming my cousins down), try to enjoy the process of your beautiful vision coming together. Just by your style I can only imagine how beautiful and breath taking your wedding will be (and gatsby!)

    Back to the fashion bit of this post, I really love how you styled this look.. is that a long button down underneath the skirt? Regardless I love it!

    Xx Sarah

    http://www.indecisivelystylish.wordpress.com

    • Hi Lovie!

      I’m still working on getting myself to a treadmill that’s conveniently located in the gym of MY BUILDING (meaning, I don’t exactly have the excuse of “inclement weather” to prevent me from making my way there), and somehow, I can’t even bring myself to put on a pair of running sneakers, let alone to walk out the front door and exercise for forty-five minutes. The gym falls into a category of its own, though, I think (lol). When I’m into it, I’m all in, but as soon as I get out of the habit, it takes A LOT to re-incentivize me. :-I

      No bueno.

      Re the wedding planning: thank you so much for your kind words and for your encouragement! By taking the initiative to do the bulk of the planning now, I’m trying to prevent any & all last minute disasters. I’m planning a lot of the details on my own, so Pinterest and late nights have both become my besties. Your words are wise: I know that this will only come around once, so I’m feeling tremendously blessed and trying to stay present in the moment rather than to scramble/rush/panic/cry (excessively) at the end.

      ANDDD, that’s a Deisgner’s Remix Grey Button down dress that I have going on underneath the skirt. Designer’s Remix is carried at Bloomingdales, but I think they just started distributing the line there because I wasn’t able to find it on the website and/or to provide the link. It actually fit a little bit too loosely, so I decided that a kewl alternative to a belt would be to team it with a sequined skirt (with a silver/gray trim). Since I just got the dress about two weeks ago, I would imagine that it would be available at your local Bloomies or on the actual Designer’s Remix website (although it wouldn’t allow me to link there either – shighhhhh).

      And lastly, thank you, thank you, thank you for your constant support. It literally keeps me doing what I do, so I’m surer appreciative. And, if you decide to go with the dress, remember that it’s made to fit SUPER loosely, so I’d recommend getting one size down. 😉

      All My Love,

      xx

      B

      • indecisivelystylish

        You are seriously the sweetest!! Thank you so much for taking the time ron wrote me back AND for trying to find the link for the dress for me.. I have to venture to Bloomingdales anyway so I will definitely look for it there. I really love that you went with the skirt over the belt, it looks awesome with a touch of sparkle✨

        I look forward to reading your posts!

        Xx Sarah

  • Hi Gorgeous,

    Firstly, I just want to say that I had the opportunity to visit your beautiful site and not only are you absolutely stun-nning, but your wedding photos are too! Congrats on putting together such a gorgeous day!

    Secondly, not too forward at all — I really appreciate you giving it thought, and taking the time to let me know! Actually, I’ve always suspected that I probably have some form of ADHD. While I was in school, I could almost never focus in classes, and I’d usually leave studying to the last minute. Although I was a good student, that was because I sort of had to be (education was always emphasized by my parents), and I’d cram everything in at the end. Not the way to go. To be honest, though, sometimes I wonder if I was just bored by what I was studying, and if that was the reason that I wasn’t paying attention (lol).

    In any case, I’m glad to hear that your doing/feeling much better after your diagnosis. You’ve definitely inspired me to look into this further. Procrastination seems like it’s nothing more than a simple annoyance or a nuisance, but when it becomes a way of life, it can obviously be a major problem. I will definitely look into it further and explore my options.

    Thank you for sharing your story with me – I’m super appreciative of your thoughtfulness and kind words. Also, your wedding photos are inspiring me right now! Ha! How picture perfect.

    Sending you lots of love and appreciation!

    X,

    B

  • Erin Murphy

    Hi Brooke, I am no stranger to procrastination, sleeping in, being half done when I needed to be somewhere etc. Anyway, my point I wanted to send you was, consider hiring a wedding planner! You work full time, blog and try to plan a wedding. Nuts! A Wedding Planner can help keep you on task and on schedule. They will help you bring your vision to fruition. They can be involved in varying degrees from time-keeper to full out responsible. Consider it and take the time to talk to a couple. You might be pleasantly surprised. I know after experience and age that when I am working 24/7 and I still have 2 days of work on my to-do list I need to ask for help, so I hire someone to clean my place/pool care/ lawn/yard care/ personal assistant/mentor/coach or business manager or graphic artist, basicly time to get a contractor! or professional help! Can’t afford? Well I bet you can, do a cost benefit analysis, it’ll all work out. I’m routing for you & Mr. Right Alien.